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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

What Is The Meaning Of Life?

When I was a child, I danced from tree to tree, swung from tree to water, and lived with dear, beetles, snakes and birds. In the rain, in the myste and in the heat I reveled in the color of my experience. My quintessence was the shape of my experience. I was the feeling of balance and height as I looked down from the top of a tree; I was the sight of a brightly color frog, bird or flower; I was the myst after a rain and the smell of the earth. I was what I felt.

Somewhere in time, I lost the child. I forgot that I am my experience. I am the form of my experience. I gave my experience to something outside myself that I cannot know, something other: I made myself two. The external and the internal. I searched out God, and said: "Show me who I am". I searched out spiritual things and said: "Where is my essence?" I searched out knowledge in academia, and asked myself: "Does meaning exist?"


All the while, I shriveled. The cancer of my own search devoured the child, slowly, so I didn't notice. But as I searched continually, I realized God was just a fold of my mind, the spiritual was just my feeling, and the academic was just a meaningless pattern. And, I was alone. I was stripped of everything that gave me hope. But, ultimately, the end, the abyss of ambiguity that my search had led me to led me to the beginning: I am my experience. I am the love I have for my child, my brother and my lover. I am the compassion I feel. I am the color red and green, and I am the joy of falling.

In my search I was led to meaning itself. Meaning is feeling. I am the child who know that he is because he feels. I am an experience that is changing and knew. I am the child who is no longer broken and split in two by his own intellect. The meaning of life is the form of experience. Meaning is all that is left when everything else is gone.

The meaning of life is a color, the meaning of life is a sound, the meaning of life is a smell, the meaning of life is warmth, the meaning of life is the profoundness that is constitutive of experience. The meaning of life is before knowledge, the meaning fo life is the truest and most sure. The meaning of life is the experience of sensation, the qualitativeness, that  makes knowledge possible. The meaning of life is to make experience as rich as it can be in yourself and the knowledge that it is in others.

The meaning of life gives you ethics, pragmatics, knowledge and everything else because you are the guardian and creator of experience, the spontaneous expression of self. Be conscious of sensation, and you have the foundation of all knowledge and everything important.

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